Boxcutter turns dancer.
That's right, I finally made the leap. The funny thing about this is I always said if I decide to go dance at a strip club, it would be lowkey and out of town. Ha.
I had a long overdue dinner date at my good friend's house which is what led to this decision. A former neighbor of mine, I have always admired her strong focus and determination. Not to get too well into my past, but I'll just say that I've always been able to take care of myself. At a young age having to provide for myself as an early teenager, I have plenty of experience in that area. I always grew up as "one of the guys" and my ways of making money, though not so legal or moral, did not include any sort of promiscuity. I was always like the guys, skilled in marketing and networking, and quite persuasive, I've had many hustles. They weren't all bad, either. I had some jobs such as simply braiding hair and breeding pitbulls. I knew how to make money but stay off the radar. I still do, to this day. I'd like to say I've always been focused but I have been distracted by many things. I look up to this individual to whom I am referring as my former neighbor because she makes it look so easy. Just as I'd like to say about myself, she's one of the few females in this town who has a reputation for truly being about her money and able to hang with the guys. This chick was always a female hustler with what it takes to make it big on typical females' hustles but strong and tough enough to handle her shit like a man. Though always maintaining MY individuality, she's been somewhat of a role model and I've always tried to learn all I can from her.
So I was at her house, and we were catching up on everything we've been up to, as I begin to ask her about the job. She told me about life circumstances leading to her former money making schemes being put to a screeching halt (as they did for me, so good for both of us). Eventually, she was led to resort to dancing. I know plenty of women in this profession but never really inquired about the life of one. Though the job is frowned upon, I truly can't see anything wrong with it. Sure, not everyone would do it, but that's why these girls get paid so well. On a serious note, I see it as making a positive impact on the world. Not only does working as a dancer help some of these women better themselves with many traits they may secretly be lacking, but dancers also help customers in the same way, and more. It may not be a traditional method, but look how many screwed up people there are in this world and tell ME how well you think "tradition" is working? Yeah, didn't think so. Also, as they say, different strokes for different folks.
As she could see how intrigued I was, and she knew of my plans to move in four months, she asked if I'm interested. My concern? The location. She happens to work at a local strip club which is the most well-known one in town. I don't know anybody who hasn't been there. After a motivational, Fuck-these-bitches-get-money type of speech (as well as reminding me that I'll be moving away in 4 months anyway) and a few pointers, I decided to go with her that evening. I won't get into details of that night but I'll just say I'm ready to do this. I went in yesterday afternoon, turned in my application and did my quick "audition" dance on stage.
I'm amazed at the positive response and support I have been receiving from the few friends and family aware of this decision. Everyone seems to be far from surprised (of course, had I told my Military acquaintances who don't know me personally, they would have had a shit fit.) I have decided this step is a good sign. Without going into details, there are things of my past which I used to let destroy my self-esteem. I used to think I was born to hate myself. These last couple years have been quite a ride, though, as so many drastic changes have led me to new realization of who I am. I'm proud to say I have reached a point where I have enough confidence and drive to perform such a job. If anyone thinks working at a strip club as a dancer is easy they're dead wrong. There's so much more to the job than you know. Maybe at some point, when I have shown I can be successful and earned some more credibility in this field I will post a blog about what I have learned. I'm sure this is yet another stop in my journey, and I'm stoked to see the good and bad which is ahead in the days to come.
A side note, inspired by this post, is something I have noticed. I have a wide variety of ambitions and goals in life. When you add that into my past fiascos throughout the years, it makes for quite the story. Another thing I've learned lately worth mentioning is a fear I never noticed. I have always had my "thing" but can't really recall anything in my life which I have consistently partaken. I have major portions of my life devoted to some things, but my mind and interest changes so often. One thing which has been accepted lately is I may not be able to do every single thing I'm working toward in my life, but I'm learning and growing along the way so as long as I'm continuing to accomplish great things, no matter what they are, it's never a waste of time. I'd rather have my plate overflowing with options than be nothing.
So if you live in the KC/Lawrence/Topeka area, contact me if you'd like to come see me at work. I'll be starting off on days for a while, so I'll be there during the relaxed shift. I don't plan on jumping into the night-time jungle of the club until I'm more comfortable and well-prepared.
<3
Jamila
جميلة
That's right, I finally made the leap. The funny thing about this is I always said if I decide to go dance at a strip club, it would be lowkey and out of town. Ha.
I had a long overdue dinner date at my good friend's house which is what led to this decision. A former neighbor of mine, I have always admired her strong focus and determination. Not to get too well into my past, but I'll just say that I've always been able to take care of myself. At a young age having to provide for myself as an early teenager, I have plenty of experience in that area. I always grew up as "one of the guys" and my ways of making money, though not so legal or moral, did not include any sort of promiscuity. I was always like the guys, skilled in marketing and networking, and quite persuasive, I've had many hustles. They weren't all bad, either. I had some jobs such as simply braiding hair and breeding pitbulls. I knew how to make money but stay off the radar. I still do, to this day. I'd like to say I've always been focused but I have been distracted by many things. I look up to this individual to whom I am referring as my former neighbor because she makes it look so easy. Just as I'd like to say about myself, she's one of the few females in this town who has a reputation for truly being about her money and able to hang with the guys. This chick was always a female hustler with what it takes to make it big on typical females' hustles but strong and tough enough to handle her shit like a man. Though always maintaining MY individuality, she's been somewhat of a role model and I've always tried to learn all I can from her.
So I was at her house, and we were catching up on everything we've been up to, as I begin to ask her about the job. She told me about life circumstances leading to her former money making schemes being put to a screeching halt (as they did for me, so good for both of us). Eventually, she was led to resort to dancing. I know plenty of women in this profession but never really inquired about the life of one. Though the job is frowned upon, I truly can't see anything wrong with it. Sure, not everyone would do it, but that's why these girls get paid so well. On a serious note, I see it as making a positive impact on the world. Not only does working as a dancer help some of these women better themselves with many traits they may secretly be lacking, but dancers also help customers in the same way, and more. It may not be a traditional method, but look how many screwed up people there are in this world and tell ME how well you think "tradition" is working? Yeah, didn't think so. Also, as they say, different strokes for different folks.
As she could see how intrigued I was, and she knew of my plans to move in four months, she asked if I'm interested. My concern? The location. She happens to work at a local strip club which is the most well-known one in town. I don't know anybody who hasn't been there. After a motivational, Fuck-these-bitches-get-money type of speech (as well as reminding me that I'll be moving away in 4 months anyway) and a few pointers, I decided to go with her that evening. I won't get into details of that night but I'll just say I'm ready to do this. I went in yesterday afternoon, turned in my application and did my quick "audition" dance on stage.
I'm amazed at the positive response and support I have been receiving from the few friends and family aware of this decision. Everyone seems to be far from surprised (of course, had I told my Military acquaintances who don't know me personally, they would have had a shit fit.) I have decided this step is a good sign. Without going into details, there are things of my past which I used to let destroy my self-esteem. I used to think I was born to hate myself. These last couple years have been quite a ride, though, as so many drastic changes have led me to new realization of who I am. I'm proud to say I have reached a point where I have enough confidence and drive to perform such a job. If anyone thinks working at a strip club as a dancer is easy they're dead wrong. There's so much more to the job than you know. Maybe at some point, when I have shown I can be successful and earned some more credibility in this field I will post a blog about what I have learned. I'm sure this is yet another stop in my journey, and I'm stoked to see the good and bad which is ahead in the days to come.
A side note, inspired by this post, is something I have noticed. I have a wide variety of ambitions and goals in life. When you add that into my past fiascos throughout the years, it makes for quite the story. Another thing I've learned lately worth mentioning is a fear I never noticed. I have always had my "thing" but can't really recall anything in my life which I have consistently partaken. I have major portions of my life devoted to some things, but my mind and interest changes so often. One thing which has been accepted lately is I may not be able to do every single thing I'm working toward in my life, but I'm learning and growing along the way so as long as I'm continuing to accomplish great things, no matter what they are, it's never a waste of time. I'd rather have my plate overflowing with options than be nothing.
So if you live in the KC/Lawrence/Topeka area, contact me if you'd like to come see me at work. I'll be starting off on days for a while, so I'll be there during the relaxed shift. I don't plan on jumping into the night-time jungle of the club until I'm more comfortable and well-prepared.
<3
Jamila
جميلة
